BJP MLA Surendra Singh asking girls to learn Sanskar over the Hathras gang rape incident.

Ah, this victim blaming thing. Not again!

Women are responsible for the crime happened to them is not just a BJP MLA belief but in fact a widespread thought throughout the entire Indian political spectrum irrespective of the ideological leanings. (maybe communist parties are an exception, not sure about that).

There is a lot wrong with this conventional orthodox point of view. This very idea objectifies women and looks at them as ‘sex objects’. It also says that men on streets have a right to rape girls/women not wearing outfits as the society wishes/expects them to wear. In other words, to me, teaching these so called Sanskars to women, is a part of infamous rape-culture, as it gives an indirect right to men of raping women.

The Indian society has made women’s life horribly miserable. Our narrative is a part of problem itself. It puts the victim at fault, rather than the criminal. We do not usually talk about the most common denominator — the men. We do not understand that skirts don’t rape women, nor do the bikinis, or dark streets, or clubs, or alcohol, or parties, or sleepovers, or school uniforms. Talk about the perpetrators. Talk about the problem. If we can’t do that, we can never solve the problem but ridiculing women.

Take a situation. When there is a terrorist attack, government, police and public figures say ‘we will not change our way of life, we will not change our behaviors… we will carry on as normal because we deserve a safe society’. But similarly when women are being raped and assaulted, the same society asks women to change their behaviors. do something different’. Why are women supposed to change their lives and their behaviors for lowlife sex offenders?”

How to solve the problem?

The most common answer is:

Basically. Shooting won’t solve anything at all.

First we need to understand what causes rape. I read about this in a article by Anuj Yadav.

Basically, Evolutionary need to reproduce increases release of hormones called Testosterone in bloodstream. Testosterone are responsible for our need to have sex. Release of Testosterone when seeing someone that provokes you sexually, is very natural, and happens to everyone. It’s very biological. Reproducing increases number of humans on earth, and ultimate chances of human species surviving in world increase. We have these biological instincts from cavemen times. People who follow their animalistic instincts, commit sexual crimes. And the saner ones, with humane instincts, don’t

Now what will death penalty do?

It will do NOTHING. Yes, you heard it right. When you hang some rapist to death, other potential rapists may gain some fear, because consequences of them raping someone will lead to death. It seems that this fear will stop one from committing rape. But, this fear stays in conscious brain. The instinctive brain still doesn’t know about any consequences of committing such crimes. As the instinct to reproduce has been formed in 4 Billion years of evolution, it’s very hard wired in humans. And the fear of being killed for committing crime is very new information.

Also, their fear is an anticipated fear. It will happen in future. And animalistic mind always chooses instant happiness even when it’s consequences in future are very harmful.

Ask yourself these questions,

Why do some people ride vehicles on 150kmph even when they know it’s very risky?

Why sometimes you don’t study, even when you know, this might lead to you performing bad in some exams?

Why do you sometimes cheat while being on strict diet?

Because, It’s all conscious mind v/s instant happiness. And a lot of times instant happiness wins.

Sexual desire is way stronger than your craving for burger, or riding at 150kmph. Don’t expect that a potential rapist will stop by fear of some punishment in future. Doesn’t matter how severe that punishment is, need of instant happiness might defeat it. There are many research papers which prove the super high magnitude of need of instant happiness. So shooting/death penalty wont solve the problem, Only discipline would.

Now let’s talk about some reforms and regulations we need in our society. (for men)

1. First teach men not to rape a woman instead of giving gyans to girls,
2. Eliminate patriarchy from the society by social awareness, most men are patriarchal but they think patriarchy is right. Make them understand that it’s evil,
3. Teach men the meaning of consent, not to objectify a woman and gender sensitivity, if still they can’t control themselves, instruct their guardians to lock them inside homes and do not let them go out from 8PM to 8AM.
4. Boycott movies promoting sexual harassment, encouraging pervert men and rape culture as good.
5. End gender segregation and other patriarchal practices. (Yes, gender segregation leads to so many crimes on women)
6. Make sex education compulsory at primary education level,
7. Boycott everything promoting toxic and violent masculinity. Redefine masculinity and teach men that it’s not meant to be violent.
8. Keep GPS system in all Auto Rickshaw, Truck drivers and other means of transports instead of asking women to sit inside the home.
9. When discussing cases of sexual violence, victim’s cloths, sobriety, and sexuality are irrelevant. Instead, counter the idea that men and boys must obtain power through violence and question the notion of sex as an entitlement
10. Stop victim bashing. Do not consider woman responsible for her rape. Do not let her feel caged inside her own city.
11. Empower her and treat her equally. If you cannot teach men how to respect women/girls, then I wish our society never had women.

Lastly, if you blame the victim then you stand by the perpetrator.